Welcome to Dear Father Thomas, a weekly column where readers share their questions about faith, family, relationships, and life’s challenges. Each week, Father Thomas offers practical wisdom and spiritual guidance rooted in Scripture and the teachings of the Catholic Church.
DEAR FATHER THOMAS: I love my children more than anything in the world, but lately I feel like I’m failing them.
Every day feels like a race I can’t keep up with. I work, I clean, I cook when I can, and I try to be present for my kids, but there never seems to be enough time. By the end of the day, I’m exhausted and impatient. Sometimes I snap at them and then spend the rest of the night feeling guilty.
I worry about everything. Are they spending too much time on screens? Am I feeding them the right foods? Should I be reading to them more, talking to them more, praying with them more? It seems like everyone else is doing a better job than I am.
My children get angry. They argue. They don’t always listen. Some days I wonder if I’m already messing them up. I look at my mistakes and fear they’ll carry those wounds for the rest of their lives.
How do I stop feeling like I’m failing my children? — TRYING MY BEST
DEAR TRYING MY BEST: My friend, let me begin with this simple truth: bad parents rarely worry about being bad parents. The very fact that these questions weigh on your heart tells me that you love your children deeply.
Many parents carry the burden of believing they must do everything perfectly. But God never asked you to be a perfect parent. He asked you to love faithfully. Your children do not need a parent who never loses patience or never makes mistakes. They need a parent who keeps showing up. A parent who says, “I’m sorry,” gives hugs, prays for them, and keeps trying again tomorrow. Remember, God entrusted these children to you knowing exactly who you are. He knew your weaknesses and struggles, yet He still chose you.
So tonight, stop measuring yourself against impossible standards. Thank God for one thing you did right today. Then place your children in His hands and rest. You are not raising them alone. God is helping you, even on the days when it doesn’t feel like it. Until next time, may God bless you and your family.
Have a question for Father Thomas? Email us at dearfather@ycvf.org. While we can’t respond to every message personally, your letter could be selected for a future episode.
