Welcome to Dear Father Thomas, a weekly column where readers share their questions about faith, family, relationships, and life’s challenges. Each week, Father Thomas offers practical wisdom and spiritual guidance rooted in Scripture and the teachings of the Catholic Church.
DEAR FATHER THOMAS: I never thought I would be writing a letter like this. A few years ago, I had people around me all the time. Friends would call. We’d get together. Life felt full. Now somehow that’s changed. Nothing dramatic happened. Life just kept moving. People got busy, and little by little, I found myself spending more and more time alone. The strange thing is that even when I’m around people, I still feel disconnected. I’ll be with family or at church, and everyone seems to be talking and laughing while I feel like I’m standing on the outside looking in. Sometimes I wonder if anyone would even notice if I stopped showing up. I know God is supposed to be enough, but lately I feel distant from Him too. How do I stop feeling so alone? — ALONE IN A CROWD
DEAR ALONE IN A CROWD: My friend, thank you for your honesty. What you’ve described is something many people experience, even if few talk about it. Loneliness isn’t always about being physically alone. Sometimes it happens while we’re surrounded by people. If that’s where you are, I want you to know this: There is nothing wrong with you.
Feeling lonely does not mean you are forgotten by God. Even Jesus experienced loneliness. He knew what it was like to be misunderstood, abandoned, and left without the comfort of close friends. The enemy often uses loneliness to whisper lies into our hearts: “No one cares. No one would miss you. You don’t belong.”
But those thoughts do not come from God. The truth is that you matter more than you know. Your life has value. Your presence matters. And even if no one else sees the struggle you’re carrying, God does. I would encourage you to take one small step. Reach out to a friend. Join a parish group. Invite someone to coffee. Relationships often begin with simple acts of courage.
Most importantly, talk to the Lord honestly. You don’t need perfect words. Tell Him exactly how you feel. The God who knows your heart has not forgotten you. I’ll be praying for you. And if you’re carrying a burden on your heart, you’re welcome to write again. Until next time, may God bless you and keep you always.
Have a question for Father Thomas? Email us at dearfather@ycvf.org. While we can’t respond to every message personally, your letter could be selected for a future episode.
